These are beautiful 20 roses that my love got me this Valentines day.. (to match my age at the time, since I turned 21 in April)
The point of this post is simple – Don’t Give Up Hope!!!
I remember when I was in middle school, I always had this fantasy that once I get to highschool I’d lose all the fat I had on me, and that I’d suddenly turn pretty enough to turn one special guy’s head. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen – not even the weight loss – not one guy was interested in me in highschool, and I simply stuck with my small group of friends and went through highschool silently, almost nonexistent. I then imagined, while in highschool, that once I turned 18 this time my fantasy would finally come true – I’d lose weight, and find that one special guy.
I graduated highschool when I was 17, and had a bit over 3 months until my new life at university would begin. For that new life, I decided, to finally make a change. I’d work out, diet, start wearing makeup, and try to stop wearing dark clothes (the dark clothes deal didn’t really fade until like 3 semesters into uni).
Time for university – I lost quite a bit of weight, and started wearing my make up (looking back all I can say is, ‘Oh, God why?!’ my makeup SUCKED SO BAD *facepalm*). I then turned 18 in my 2nd semester, still fat, still no special guy, but I did have a couple of guys crush on me, granted they were asses (no seriously, they were assholes) but hey! Improvement.
And then, a few months before my 19th birthday, I found him. We hit it off like immediately, and it freaked me out, part of me felt like I’ve lived this before, like I knew the steps he’d take; I anticipated the moves like I’ve been through this with him before. It was weird and felt right, everyone knew we’d end up together, hell, we knew it as well – Some even thought we already were together.
Flash forward to my 19th birthday, he asked me out then, I almost said no, not because I didn’t want to, but I was freaked out and usually, back then, when I got freaked out, I avoided the situation. Thankfully, I didn’t blab out the answer I didn’t want, but replied with what I did want , which was ‘yes’. Damn, was I awkward.
So now, flash forward more, it’s been now…2 years and 4 months together, feels like more, feels like forever, feels like I’ve known him all my life and don’t remember how my life was without him. It’s weird.
Yes, we’ve had major up and downs, helluva fights, issues here and there, but hey! A relationship isn’t a relationship without all that lovely goodness – plus, it’d be boring as fuck :p
I’m grateful that I didn’t have to go through breakups and major heartbreak, I’m grateful I waited and didn’t rush desperately into anything, and I’m glad that I didn’t worry about weight, makeup, and boys in middle/highschool :p I was able to enjoy my obliviousness back then, and enjoyed living in my made up fantasy world.
Now, I get to enjoy my adult life with him, and I wouldn’t change anything in the events that led me to this place in which I am with him, my fantasy world is hard to revisit now, as my fantasy love life is now my reality, and yes, I’ve lost every piece of fat in my body, I’m out of my long awkward stage, even my face seemed to change, and I’m gaining (accidentally) abs xD
Thank you, for listening to my ramble of a tale.
Graduation Day D; Those were my highschool (grade 11) uniform xD
3rd semester in uni :p Early this year ^^